"Bridgerton," Brain Rot, and Pop Girlies
A critical taxonomy of insipidness featuring fan favorites like Charli XCX, Chappell Roan, and Lady Whistledown
If you’re anywhere near as “online” as me, you’ve inevitably heard of the term “brain rot.” In a recent episode of the podcast Power User, host Taylor Lorenz and etymologist Adam Aleksic discuss the origins of the term, what it means, and if we should be very, very afraid of how the internet is changing the way we relate to one another, think, and speak. “Brain rot” is the sort of intellectual molasses a person wades into when they’re chronically online. Pithy tweets, TikTok dances and memes circle the mind where words and hobbies once resided. I’m not proud.
Earlier this summer, two things dominated my For You Page on TikTok: first was press clips from the cast of season 3 of “Bridgerton”, and the other was performances and analyses of the rising pop stars of our era, particularly Sabrina Carpenter’s ubiquitous “Espresso,” Chappell Roan’s entire body of work, and the new Charli XCX album, “Brat.” This combination bestowed me with far more in-depth knowledge than I would ever seek out on my own on everything from Taylor Swift’s surprise songs on a given night of the Eras tour to over-analyses of Nicola Coughlan’s relationship with co-star Luke Newton.
All of this is to say, I blame brain rot for the incredibly insipid listicle that follows. The idea struck late one night while “Espresso” went round and round my brain, driving me to slow insanity. Heretofore I present a critical taxonomy: “Bridgerton Characters” as Pop Girlies.
Anthony Bridgerton: Taylor Swift
The head of the Bridgerton household, the Viscount himself, can be none other than Taylor Swift. Surpassing the title of “pop girly,” the undoubted queen of pop herself guides and mentors the up-and-coming, holds the pursestrings of the industry in her pinky finger, and produces brilliance from angst and heartbreak. I’m not really sure what Viscounts actually do, but we can surely say Anthony, married to Kate in the third season, is finally past his rakish reputation and his entered his Lover era. Hopefully it works out between the two tough kids and he escapes Taylor’s fate as a future tortured poet. Oh, and they’re both a little competitive.
Benedict: Charli XCX
There can be no doubt that Benedict Bridgerton is none other than our favorite 3-6-5 party girl, Charli XCX. Like Charli, Benedict has been around the scene for a while, frequently reinvents himself, and loves a good party. Though he is the second oldest Bridgerton, he has yet to have his moment in the spotlight, but maybe next season will finally be his “Brat” summer. Like Charli, he is grappling with the big questions: is it time to settle down, or is it time for the biggest party yet? Perhaps there is more to Benedict than meets the eye.
Daphne: Sabrina Carpenter
Tiny and blonde with a dirty side, Sabrina simply won’t get out of our heads this summer. This is how the Duke of Hastings feels about Daphne Bridgerton in season 1, despite his claims that she’s too basic for his tastes. Like Carpenter’s captive audiences to her clever pop ditties, the Duke had no choice but to simply submit to Daphne’s powers.
Colin: Dua Lipa
While Dua Lipa hails from Albania, Colin once traveled there. While undoubtedly talented, Dua Lipa hasn’t quite enjoyed the acclaim of her peers on recent albums. Colin feels the same about his under-appreciated letter writing. Like Colin, Dua Lipa has been dismissed by critics as rather forgettable, catch her or she goes houdini.
Eloise: Billie Eilish
Both Eloise and Billie are iconoclasts of a sort. When Billie burst onto the music scene in 2019 with her green hair, baggy clothes and a lovable/creepy vibe, she seemed to be announcing to the world that she was different from the generation of pop stars that preceded her. Eloise would also please like us to know she is different from the other girls, more interested in reading than marriage – and more interested still in telling us about it! Eilish’s “Bad Guy” reflects in part why Eloise dislikes men so much. Perhaps Billie’s latest queer come-on “Lunch,” is foreshadowing for Eloise’s romantic future?
Francesca: Reneé Rapp
Classically trained and classically beautiful, super queer vibes, need I say more?
Hyacinth: Olivia Rodrigo
We haven’t seen much from Hyacinth yet, but the show has established she is young and sassy, traits shared by Olivia herself, and most likely romantic tribulations await her. Rest assured she’d be begging Lady Bridgerton for GUTS tickets were they available in the regency era.
Gregory: ??? Future pop girlie of tomorrow
We know nothing about this character, the youngest Bridgerton son, Gregory.
Penelope Bridgerton, neé Featherington: Chappell Roan
To save the best for last, Penelope Bridgerton, Lady Whistledown in the flesh, is Chappell Roan, the badass ‘80s throwback powerhouse who performs in drag and has experienced a meteoric rise to fame this summer after years of struggling in the industry. The obvious similarity is that both have red hair, but look deeper, gentle reader. Both are creating under pen names: Penelope as Lady Whistledown and Kayleigh Amstutz as Chappell Roan. In the most recent season, Penelope transformed from wallflower to Main Character Energy, a renaissance we currently are watching Chappell undergo. Chappell is the talk of the ton, and so is Penelope amid her courtship with Colin in season 3 of Bridgerton. Maybe in a future season Penelope too can find better after discovering she’s actually a lesbian.
What I’m Watching: The third season of “Hacks” was my favorite yet, and Julio Torres’ “Fantasmas” is a perfect punch of unsettling and laugh-out-loud funny. Check it out!